Coronavirus Conversation
We’re in lockdown, not just in UK, but all over the world. Old conversation habits die hard, such as ‘what did you get up to last night’. There’s not many different things you can do whilst in lockdown. So our friends over at Stylist have devised a new way of spicing up our answers to questions. Here’s some Coronavirus conversation to help spice things up!
Stylist have come up with some really funny ways to respond when someone asks what you got up to last night. They make you sound like you did really exciting things. When in reality they’re quite mundane:
- INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I HAD A CHEEKY WINE IN THE GARDEN”
Say: “I partook in an al fresco wine tasting. It was glorious. I particularly enjoyed the bergamot top notes in the chardonnay.”
- INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I WATCHED TIGER KING ON NETFLIX”
Say: “I watched an innovative and divisive documentary exploring the complex relationship between man and beast. It threw up some interesting philosophical dilemmas, actually.”
- INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I WENT FOR A WALK”
Say: “I indulged in my evening constitutional.”
- INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I CHATTED TO SOME FRIENDS ON ZOOM”
Say: “Some close acquaintances and I met face-to-face using a cloud-based video conferencing service, whereupon we discussed all manner of things.”
- INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I FINISHED MY BOOK”
Take a leaf out of Jane Austen’s book and say: “I declare after all there is no enjoyment like reading! How much sooner one tires of anything than of a book!”
- INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I SCROLLED AIMLESSLY THROUGH INSTAGRAM”
Say: “I visited the world’s largest image gallery and perused the many exhibits on display, in order to gather inspiration for the interior design of my future home, outfits I will wear once I can go outside again, and cakes I will bake once I can actually buy flour and eggs.”
- INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I ATE ALL MY QUARANTINE SNACKS IN ONE SITTING”
Say: “I struggled in vain to curb my innermost desires, but alas! I am only human, and some temptations cannot be resisted.”
- INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I PLAYED VIDEO GAMES FOR A BIT”
Say: “I used an innovative software system to test my mental and physical reflexes, not to mention my decision-making.”
- INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I WENT TO THE SUPERMARKET”
Say: “I embarked on an intrepid mission outdoors, in a bid to replenish our supplies and see us through this infernal quarantine.”
- INSTEAD OF SAYING: “ I MADE A SPOT OF DINNER”
Say: “Cooking is an expression that crosses boundaries, and last night saw me transcend all boundaries as I whipped up a culinary storm in my kitchen.”
- INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I TRIED TO DO A JOE WICKS WORKOUT”
Say: “I did my best to exert myself with the help of an old friend. One always feels better when the blood starts pumping, doesn’t one?”
- INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I HAD A SHOWER”
Say: “I shed my clothes, until I was as naked as the day I was born, and stepped under a stream of gushing water. It cleansed me, body and soul, and left me feeling utterly invigorated.”
- INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I DID A LOT OF UNNECESSARY ONLINE SHOPPING”
Make like Barbra Streisand in Hello Dolly and say: “Money, pardon the expression, is like manure. It’s not worth a thing unless it’s spread around, encouraging young things to grow. And so I sacrificed my disposable income in a bid to give the economy a boost.”
- INSTEAD OF SAYING: “I FELL ASLEEP ON THE SOFA”
Say: “I hunkered down for the night far from my creature comforts, with nary a duvet or pillow in sight.”
(Stylist)
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