credit:guff.com

Imagine, having the BEST, WORST luck ever?! No, think again! Because boy do we have some news for you!

Remember Mohammed Abad from the Bionic Balls Part 2 EP?, Well for those that dont know who he is, he’s the 43 year old Scottish fella who lost his love stick, his disco stick, his purple headed solider, his tonsil tickler, his trouser snake, you guessed it, his penis in a car accident when he was a child has since been given a bionic penis and lost his virginity – Mohammed operates his penis by pushing a button on his testicles to inflate and another one to deflate. Mr Nim Christopher, the consultant neurologist who built the penis every man wants (wait you’ll see why) said: ‘It will stay up as long as he wants and then when he’s had enough he switches the off button.’  – Doctors also informed him that when he went to get his penis – ‘You’ve got a big arm, so we’ll be able to make you a big penis’

Well we have an UPDATE people

He is looking for love because he has a lot to give:

Mohammed told The Mirror: ‘I’m very lonely and would love to find someone. I’ve joined Match.com and an Asian dating site and I’ve even tried Tinder, but so far I’ve had no feedback. Not one date. I’d be eternally grateful if someone helped me find love, I’ve got a lot to give. The ­ultimate goal is to have two kids but I need to find somebody first” 

He has normal levels of testosterone and and doctors believe he will be able to have children.

So a big dick and can go for as long as he wants without a care in the world. Silver linings and all that Mohammed. Silver linings.